2003 and 2004 presented us with one symptom after another, one medical test after another, one steroid treatment after another, one new medicine after another.  As a mother I felt like I was losing my mind.  I put on this face, a strong encouraging face for my daughter.  On the outside I appeared to have it all together.  On the inside, however, I felt like a huge bundle of static, tense, anxious nerves ready to snap.  I WANT THIS STINKING DISEASE TO STOP TORMENTING MY CHILD!!

Sometimes when I am all alone I scream. I cry out.  I am literally overcome with so much pain and heartache I could just burst.  I have never felt so much ache in all of my life.  I was constantly waiting for the next symptom to occur each time wondering what part of my daughter MS would take this time. 

By this time I had lost one of my closest friends, or at least I thought she was my closest friend.  Family members quit calling and coming to the hospital.  I assume it just became routine for them.  If you are living with MS or a chronic illness you know what I am talking about.  If you hear anything from our story at all, please hear this next statement.  To that person laying in the hospital bed or that mother, father, or spouse sitting at their side the twenty third time is just as upsetting as the first or third or fifth time.  In other words, your visits, cards and prayers are so important no matter how many times they have been sick or in the hospital.  So please, please do not forget that we still need your presence, support, calls and prayers.


One comment on “A RELENTLESS JOURNEY OF UNCERTAINTY A Mother’s Perspective Part 4

  1. Crystal P. says:

    Hi Kim, you’ve meet me before, but you will know my through my family. David and Jenna Glaub are my bro/sis in law and Gloria Bruce is my mother in law.
    Anyway, I wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I will keep your family in prayer. About four years ago my best friend (I call her my sister we are that close) had a beautiful little boy. When he was about 8 months old, after tests and all the hospital run through, he was diagnosed with a brain condition called Lissencephaly. Basically meaning smooth brain, where the ridges or ripples on the brain do not fully form. He is in the condition now going on 4 yrs old, where he is at the mental development of a five month old. Of course doctors don’t know much of anything about the disease. It’s not genetic, it was a once in a million type of a thing. I tell you a bit about their story to tell you this. Every emotion of pain, unbelief, heartache, frustration, gladness because you got through surgery or treatments okay, or thankfulness that you’ve gone a month and not ended up in the hospital, all those feelings she and her husband are going through too. I thank you for sharing your story so honestly. Sharing your story and as I shared her story, it brings light to the trials that people are going through. Most people hide and say all is okay. But, you know it’s okay to have all the feelings and emotions. We are human and God understand that. I believe God chooses people like your family to uplift and educate those around you. He knew what your story would consist of and he knows the out come. He knows how strong you are, how much a fighter you are and how many lives your family can change/touch.
    Thank you also for reminding people that just because you are going through the 20th surgery or 15th hospital visit where they can’t find out what medicine has to be adjusted, it’s still just as hard as the first one. I believe in pulling together and reaching for our savior, so if you need anything, let us know. I will keep lifting your family up in prayers. And again THANK YOU!!!!!
    God bless you all!!!

    Crystal Prychidko

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