A Mother’s Perspective
I was brought up in church and raised around the Word of God. OnDecember 26, 1997 I accepted Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior. In January 2006, I completely surrendered my life to serving Him.
I discovered that I was angry with God for allowing Multiple Sclerosis into our lives. I was angry for the rollercoaster ride my family has been on since Brandhi’s diagnosis. I was angry for the pain my daughter has suffered. I often looked up to Heaven and asked God why. Why was He allowing this to happen to my family? Why does someone so young have to suffer with so much pain and uncertainty?
My daughter being diagnosed with MS has been the hardest thing I have ever had to face. MS is an unpredictable, devastating, debilitating and at times a relentless disease. Brandhi not only has to live with its uncertainty; she has to live with its pain and frustration over the modifications that MS has forced her to make in her life. Brandhi lives with overwhelming fatigue, the kind of fatigue that makes it difficult for her to even get out of bed in the mornings. When she does get out of bed, by6:00PM she wants to get back into it. Pain: Brandhi has leg pain and from time to time her pain has been so severe I have watched her lay in the floor and beg for her dad to just make it stop. Brandhi has frustration with not being able to go on long shopping trips with her friends because her she can’t endure all day shopping at the mall any longer because she gets fatigued.
I know that God has Brandhi’s best interest at heart. He knows and wants what is best for her life. I would never have wanted my daughter to be living with an incurable disease and I would take her place in an instant, but that simply is not God’s will. Through the last few years of living with MS I have learned that we are called to trust in the Lord with ALL our heart and lean not on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6.)
Since Brandhi’s diagnosis she has had some very challenging times. When we finally stopped asking God all the many “why” questions and started focusing on the “what” questions life turned around. LORD, what do you want us to do with this? That is the question we finally knelt in prayer over.
One morning in the midst of Brandhi’s symptoms and the many challenges they present us, I found myself at a breaking point. I lifted my voice up to God, raised my hands in the air and begged God, “Please, please Father God, do not let her suffer any longer! Take this terrible disease and heal her. Please God take this from her!” I felt this urgency to run to my Bible and start reading. That morning God spoke to me in Matthew 5:36. He said to me, … “Do not be afraid; only believe.” Praise God!! If we put all our faith and trust in God there is no reason to fear, we just have to believe. Believe that God will NEVER leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)
God daily renews our strength. I literally wake up and face each day as its own. I have learned that although it’s tough sometimes not to focus on the future and what may happen to my daughter that I must put all of my faith in God and trust Him for this day, this wondrous, glorious day that He has blessed us with.
I have watched my daughter grow physically, emotionally and spiritually. God is using her in an awesome way. He has given her the gift of being an inspiration to many people and not just the ones who are affected by MS. She unselfishly gives of herself to others, all for His honor and glory. She is a unique individual with so much love for life and others. At such a young age she has endured a lot of suffering but she has also received plenty of joy. God has made her strong in her weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) We desire to walk with God as He leads us to comfort those with the comfort He has given to us. (2 Corinthians 1:3,4)
Praise God, with Him all things are possible no matter what your physical condition. (Philippians 4:13)