A RELENTLESS JOURNEY OF UNCERTAINTY A Mother’s Perspective Part 4

2003 and 2004 presented us with one symptom after another, one medical test after another, one steroid treatment after another, one new medicine after another.  As a mother I felt like I was losing my mind.  I put on this face, a strong encouraging face for my daughter.  On the outside I appeared to have it all together.  On the inside, however, I felt like a huge bundle of static, tense, anxious nerves ready to snap.  I WANT THIS STINKING DISEASE TO STOP TORMENTING MY CHILD!!

Sometimes when I am all alone I scream. I cry out.  I am literally overcome with so much pain and heartache I could just burst.  I have never felt so much ache in all of my life.  I was constantly waiting for the next symptom to occur each time wondering what part of my daughter MS would take this time. 

By this time I had lost one of my closest friends, or at least I thought she was my closest friend.  Family members quit calling and coming to the hospital.  I assume it just became routine for them.  If you are living with MS or a chronic illness you know what I am talking about.  If you hear anything from our story at all, please hear this next statement.  To that person laying in the hospital bed or that mother, father, or spouse sitting at their side the twenty third time is just as upsetting as the first or third or fifth time.  In other words, your visits, cards and prayers are so important no matter how many times they have been sick or in the hospital.  So please, please do not forget that we still need your presence, support, calls and prayers.

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